LOL - Thanks AF Mom Susan!

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER

December 8, 6:00 PM - It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6 inches -Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his testicles and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry flippin' Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch 'It's A Wonderful Life' one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The WENCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel some place more "comfortable". The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Sunday, yay

I finally slept from just after 2 til just after 8 this morning. Couldn't slow my brain down. It's what I call: "Hamstering", and I was fast and furious on my little wheel last night. *sigh*

I awoke to find that the snow is deeper now than when I nodded off. Forive the screen lines. I am NOT going out back. Even for YOU!


That bowed dark thing in the background is the trampoline.

I sent V a pic of the snow we've received and she wasn't too impressed. She said something like: "heh" and *snerk* When you get the kind of burying they do in Minot ND, it's understandable.

She and I had a good chat this morning. I wound up leaving her a voice mail with some chant melodies on it that she wanted refreshed so she could teach them to others. WWWW's ~ You'd be so proud of her. I can't wait to see you all on the 29th, when we'll make beautiful music again!

I'm heading out now that the driveway has been plowed. There's some exchanging I need to do from the holidays and I need to use the time I have for things like that effectively. I'm returning one thing because it's too big. Yay.

I'll probably stop for a salad while I'm out. Join me??

restless

snow

This is what the roads looked like as I drove yesterday...

And what's a Michigan snow storm without a 10 car fender bender extravaganza? (There were 10, but they didn't all fit in the pic - and I was trying not to be #11!)

btw: this was not the only car I saw facing the 'wrong' direction. It was a common theme.

Made it home safely, but had to shovel the garage door clear. I think I just stood out there and watched as it snowed fluffly clouds of flakes on me for at least half an hour. I find it positively entrancing to watch each flake float to the ground, glinting in the house light and land silently; fitting invisibly into a maze of fragile geometric points.

Now you can see how deep it is. 8" or more and still falling at 7pm...

The patio table ~ in the deep midwinter glow of the moon and the kitchen light. 1am

I'm not even sure how much we have on the ground, but it's deep, and crystalline white and beautiful.

Happy Medium

There is a happy medium... or I'd be happy in a "Medium" - which ever!

Anyways, there is a happy medium between the weight I was almost two months ago and thin. It's called healthy.

I'm not anywhere near my goal yet, but I'm actively working on it. I figure if I post it here the chances of me sticking to my goal are greater!

So far my clothes are starting to fit better, but my work slacks are getting a little baggy-looking. That's a repercussion I'll have to work on... changing size can be expensive in 'better' clothing.

What am I doing? I'm drinking a lot more water and limiting my coffee and diet soda intake as well as the "white death" of our time: processed flour and sugar. I keep more regular hours and sleep my needed 7 hrs a night pretty regularly (unless something has me wound up, which happens).

My office is in the process of seeking out a new larger building. I keep saying that one of the criteria is that I need a really big office or a room for my treadmill... and would a large washroom with a shower and lockers be too much to ask?!

I am seeking a gym that's conveniently located but still not sure that I can afford one that's got good trainers who know how to deal with my back, good quality equipment and enough of it for all, is clean and bright (with showers and lockers) - and my last qualification: other people there as heavy as I am or more.

Of course, I've never cared much for being stagnant, but now I do it even less. Heck, even when I'm relaxing I get up and do things that need to be done. Last weekend I cleaned a neglected part of the kitchen, tidied up my plants and moved things around a bit... between hanging out on the computer and watching TV with J! I'm simply much more content doing or being out and about (that's: Oot and Aboot in Canadian) with friends and family.

The Germans have a saying that roughly translates: "The slim sapling grows into the thick oak", implying that this is a desirable and beautiful development, in women as well as in men. There is no comparable expression in English. In America, the tree of choice appears to be the lodgepole pine. (thanks for that, E)

As I said, I'm aiming for more healthy, not thin or lodgepole pine-esque. Thin is not a realistic goal. Healthy is... Active is... More fit is...

Happy 2009

Have a good year, work for peace, and show up - the world needs us to be present in whatever ways we are creatively able.

~ Holly Near

www.hollynear.com