YIKES!

It's been forever!! Not that I'm really back, but it's really interesting to read what I've written.

Stop. Please.

9/11/01 The day my son was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma.

Without even looking at the calendar or the clock, the day hits me like a brick. I had no idea what time it was when the phone rang a few minutes ago. I did know that my head had shifted, like someone threw a switch. *click* Yes, woe to the gf who just called. The diagnosis meeting was at 2pm. My heart knew it. The flashbacks in my head knew it.

Today is a day filled with flashes of a moment in time that changed my life's path forever. I can't help it.

Today I mourn the blissfull knowledgelessness I had about lymphoma and a multitude of chemotherapy drugs. I mourn for the loss of the child with mild learning issues and effective coping strategies. I mourn the guilt-free days when I didn't worry about whether the choices I made effected my son's ability to be a father. I mourn the mother-filled days BOTH my children shared. I mourn being a mom who thinks not being hungry is just a phase, or due to eating too much junk food. I mourn having a child that coughs or vomits or gets an infection - without thinking the "C" word. I mourn the loss of my cancer-depression-free son and so many things that changed, beginning today, 9 years ago.

So Stop. Please.

Stop telling me to cheer up and be grateful. (I AM) Stop telling me to celebrate his remission. (That has it's own date - and do you honestly think I DON'T?! )

It hurts my heart more deeply than I can express that I can't seem to share my sadness and grief with my friends and family without being told that my emotions are "wrong" or should somehow be different.

And for God's sake...
Please stop the flashbacks.

Worrisome Day

Aron, Avivah & Mara have come and gone and are now getting settled in their own home and their own routine apart from the hustle and visits that kept them going here. It's more than bittersweet for this loving Nana, so far away from the grand baby she adores but I'll adjust in time... I hope. :(

I awoke to care for the feathereds this morning to see that all was well though the day was heading to almost 90 (something they don't care for). Water changed, food filled, treats given and coop cleaned, I went about my day.

By 1 this afternoon I had collected one egg (Roxie's), there was diarrhea in the coop and Buffy was looking none too well. Poo on her vent and looking like butt feathers were missing. I pampered, fretted and gave treats like mad to get her to move so I could see the affected area better. Nothing new and no definitive answer.

One of the day's plans could not be moved, so off I went to help a friend with her wedding.

Three hours later I came back to find Buffy still in a bad way, sitting on the nest, coming down for treats, but then going right back up. Red comb and wattles, but No improvement in her poo butt or temperament. I checked websites, books, called a friend who has chickens... No definitive solutions, so I decided to go outside to spend some time observing to see if I could learn more about my poor girl...

Buffy was down pecking and scratching with her sisters! She was clucking normally and other than eating and drinking more than usual, seemed ok!

I checked the coop for bloody stools or other sign of illness to find... Buffy's egg... AT SEVEN PM! She'd been egg-bound all day! I added another water station, made sure there was enough feed and gave them an extra helping of leafy greens. I'm just praying this doesn't become a continuing problem.

Site Review

Thought I'd share my review of www.nutritiondata.com with you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I used nutrition data (.com) to track my food and beverage consumption all day today and found it was a bit of a pain if you're watching every ingredient (add food, save, [or - add "custom foods" when they don't have them preloaded, save], add food to tracking, save, save & analyze, wait for report). It's a better site for label information... then do your own addition!

You also can't export the daily tracking page as anything other than an excel .doc, which is incomplete (lacks the foods list) and is really tough to decipher! The format on the site page is gorgeous! It's easy to understand, thorough and exceptionally well laid out. I only wish it came through that way when emailed.

All in all I prefer the site solely for nutritional information, but for that it can't seem to be beat!

Blessings,
Lea

Wishes, Please

65 days give or take til Farfette makes her appearance and they're #92 on the list for base housing.

C'mon and say a prayer or make a wish or do what works for you... to see that they have this one stressor lifted from their burden soon.

Thanks.

Quote

Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.
~ William Arthur Ward ~

Picture of note

Just as Avivah was before birth, we've been calling 'it' Farfel. Joshua was Felafel! LoL

Meet Farfette! Yep, 85% chance she's a she.

For you, my beautiful children, my heart, all of it.

I love you, MoM

News

Today's new fit for print is found down the left hand margin....

Prepare for the SQWEE!

I'm delighted.

Go Buffy!

KUDOS today to our dearest feathered friend, Buffy the Bug Slayer, AKA: Buffy, who today laid her very first egg. It's a lovely pinkish tan, exactly as I was hoping.

Not to be left out of bloggy-world, I never posted RockStar's (Roxie) first egg, which was laid on December 6th. An awesome shade of blue that's just a bit greener than a robin's egg.

And lastly, a revised picture of the eggy bounty, now with all three girl's lovely treasures.

Buffy's first was small, but first eggs often are. They certainly don't match her size. On the other hand, the darker egg top row middle, next to Buffy's first, in this pic is Coco's from yesterday. It's so large (Jumbo) that it barely fits in the carton - and she's our smallest hen!

A Quote

I was blog surfing just now and came across this quote.

"In our society, growing food yourself has become the most radical of acts. It is truly the only effective protest, one that can - and will - overturn the corporate powers that be. By the process of directly working in harmony with nature, we do the one thing most essential to change the world - we change ourselves." ~ Jules Dervaes

And a picture of some of the bounty I'm enjoying from my girls...

An Award

The award for the best note on the back of a Christmas card EVER goes to....

"This card was made by hand. If you throw it away, those same hands will make a doll in your image and stick pins in its butt."

AF MOM BONNIE

You've won my undying giggles... forever and ever, amen. LoL
One more reason in the long list that AF MOMS ROCK!

Landmark Day!

This morning, our girl Coco, pictured here...

blessed us with our very first egg!!

It's PERFECT!

Samhain '09

Yours truly, as the Goddess Aphrodite. (didn't think my hair was so flat!)

I need to enhance this costume for another party in February, so if you can think of anything to add to this - that is mythologically correct - please let me know.

To date, suggestions include: a dolphin or sea turtle (stuffed? on a pendant?) and a golden belt of some kind.

Saturday Morning SNAFU

So I'm up at the butt-crack of dawn to be there when Joshua registers for school online for the first time, right? Registration opens at 7am. It's Saturday, but what the heck, right? Diligently, I set my alarm for 6:25 & 6:30 so I can function and see straight by the required hour. With 7am on our heels I wake Joshua to log in.

Wait. Why won't it let you into that portion of the screen?

Dunno.

Hang on.

What's this?

"To ensure the best possible experience with Webadvisor, you must register after your designated time" We knew nothing of a designated time. The advisor he spoke to mentioned nothing about a designated time.

His? 11:00AM TOMORROW! HE can fall back asleep.
Me? I've already fed the cat and done a load of dishes. *sigh*

Oh - and this officially marks my first post from my new laptop. My first computer that I purchased, is all mine and portable. Welcome to the real world, to me!

peek

Not a very good pic, but it's a quick peek at me from yesterday's jaunt with Joshua to opening day of the Michigan Ren fest.

Yep - I live.

Morning Encounter

As I sat outside enjoying the breeze and cooling temps last evening (after a humid 93 degree day) a thunderstorm approached something fierce! Before I went in the house, around 8:30 when the winds really kicked up, I had to close the coop door for fear that the girls would freak out at the driving rain, lightning and thunderclaps. Usually I let them decide when to come and go from the coop, leaving the door open all night, but no choice this time!

So this morning as I trod out with their morning feed and fresh water, I opened the coop door and greeted them as they ran down their ladder for more space and outstretched wings. I try to spend some time every morning out there communing with them and the garden. It's calming to see them peck and scratch and I love the new sounds they're making and trying out as they grow.

After a minute or two they calmed down to their usual cluck and peck and I turned to check out the garden. Tomato plant looks good and has already provided 10 lovely Romas. But wait, something moved over there... To the north of me, about 40 feet away, were two yearling deer!

I stood still just watching as they lazily grazed on wet grass. Then the one closest to me laid down right there. And there it sat as I moved slowly about my morning garden check, each of us keeping an eye on the other, but not showing any sign of worry or fear. It was a lovely moment.

I may not feel tied to this house with its limits and many physical woes and needs, but I am deeply connected to this patch of earth, for oh so many reasons.

MORE news

Joshua and I each took Friday off to go to the school he's chosen and see a counselor. Little did we know that the day would be quite so long... or momentous.

It began early as we needed to request transcripts and ACT scores from his former HS, which opened at 7:30. Fortunately, they were able to print official copies and send them with us via sealed envelope.

A quick stop at the enrollment office to verify that his online application was received and we were down the hall to the counseling office - to sit and wait, and wait, and... yeah. More than an hour later we got an older gentleman who we both agreed treated us like children - both of us.

J decided to improve his ACT reading score so he opted to take the placement exam. Off to office number 3. This surprisingly took less time than anticipated and it printed his score right then and there. Score? 100 out of 120, and he only needed a 70. Yay!

Based on this test score the classes selected were registered, paid for (ouch) and we were sent back once more to the counselor to officially record the test score in his student record. (Why they can't do this at enrollment/registration I don't know.)

This time we were in a different line and got called within 5 minutes. This counselor was much more informative, very pleasant and welcoming to Josh. She gave him ideas and options for class selections, and even began a full degree course planning sheet with him.

Satisfied that we had almost everything we needed, we zipped back to enrollment for his student ID card and then to the bookstore for ... um, heart failure!

Each book he needed was more than $100. If he gets a waiver to attend an additional class - that class requires TWO books. OUCH! And yes, before you ask, we checked into used texts too. They're not that much cheaper, really. I took names and ISBN numbers and headed home for a little research. So far research has been fruitful as I saved over $50 on just one of them.

Before we left I took one quick picture.

Behold, Schoolcraft College's newest Ocelot!

Insert very proud "YAY" here.

PROOF!

It's official... Avivah still exists, and I have proof.

There's been an Avivah-sighting in Minot, ND, by someone I trust, to verify it. This picture of three pretty suspicious looking characters in black is the evidence she offers.

I give you (l to r) Corey, AVIVAH, and Awesome WingMom Peggy!

Thanks Peggy, for going out of your way to see my girl and deliver a hug from this mom and all the others who sent one her way. You guys made my day.

Family News

I only have a minute this morning, so I'll just 'Show & Tell' you....

On Sunday, my sister and her SO, Mike ("boyfriend" sounds too juvenile)and my nephew Hunter, flew into a small local air strip on their way back from Oshkosh, WI where they had been camping for a week at the annual AirVenture show. The first time they had really spent any time together was at this show three years ago and it's been a yearly trek for them since.

Back then he was just beginning the building of his plane. Yesterday it flew in all shiny and painted and... wow. I give you ~ The Slinks! (and Pops and Mom too)



Yes, Slinks. Their cat's name is Slinky, ergo the plane... and logo...



Slinks is a two-seater, so my nephew hopped a ride in their friend Bill's plane. It was really cool watching them both land. Mom & Pops, Julie & Bruce, Hannah & Tillie and J & I went to greet them.

Hunter will be staying here in Michigan for a couple of weeks, but Karen & Mike had to fly back to Maryland and work on Monday. Our time was precious but everyone was hungry so we spent a couple of hours lingering over brunch.

Lots of smiles and stories later ... Karen wanders over to me and in passing shows me her new bauble...


ZOMG!!! (I think I squeeked.) Mike proposed during their time in Oshkosh!!! While in the air!!! CONGRATULATIONS, Karen & Mike!