Where's J?

He's Here!

I realize that J has been oddly absent from bloggie world for the past few days, and I figured you'd want to know where he's been.

He's busy working! If only temporarily, he has a job with some responsibility in a field he truly enjoys. Theatre tech.

J was hired to be the sound manager for a production of Les Miserables (school edition) at the local high school. He's working with the private production company ProjectDayDream. Hopefully he'll be thought of for the next production the company does (Disney's Aladdin Jr.) His passion for theatre is a terrific creative outlet for him and shines through ~ even after long rehearsals.

J's gf, Sam, is in the production as well, playing two roles as part of the ensemble. Sam has been a part of this company for 9 years and is a dancer/choreographer par excellance. In addition to modeling, dance is her primary interest and the career field she'd like to pursue in the future.

Closing performance is this afternoon (followed by a family BBQ in honor of V.)

Joshua and Sam...

Break a Leg!

SHE'S HOME!

Airport, out to dinner and home to an enormous squish from J and a good romp and snuggle with Mooch.

As I write she is happily disgorging her suitcase, showing J all the nifty stuff she brought home.

Life is good.

Random recent pics

6/25 I went to my first Tiger game at Comerica Park! We won!

MidSummer bonfire

Puff the magic... steam hole cover?

Lofton and Thomas - Tech School Roomies.

Hannah & J in a cherry tree!

Yep, J Golfs!

Pleeze Don't Squeeze... Tillie and Hannah!

Now really... What fun is warehouse shopping if you can't climb on the Toilet Paper?

Sky Watch Friday & Faith to the rescue

Happy SkyWatchFriday!

In honor of V's graduation from Tech School yesterday, today's Sky Watch pic is from her Basic Training graduation weekend.

I love the simple swoosh of clouds against the blue San Antonio sky and the evident breeze through the palm fronds.

~~~~~

On another front...

I spent my entire morning trying to find transportation and a motel room for three wayward Tech School grads, V included. It seems they were told that they could not stay on base in their dorm rooms, but told too late to get a room at the base hotel. Well, shoot then. Now what?!

Their plan? Camp out in the Sant Maria airport. Ummm, there's a flaw in the plan... the airport, like most, CLOSES for a while over night!

Yes, I know she needs to learn to be a big girl and there are two other Airmen (males) with her, but there's also each person's two weeks worth of luggage, important documents, carry-ons and the most precious cargo ~ THEMSELVES ~ to consider! My kid was NOT going to sleep on the streets if *I* could help it!

I talked to Faith with Santa Maria Cab Service and she was a DOLL. Not only would she be happy to pick them up at 4:30 am tomorrow, she'd recommend a safe, nice, mom & pop motel for the night.

You take a freaked out AF mom and get a nice, cab-driving woman named Faith on the line and tell me THAT wasn't a hint?! No way. I had Faith. What more did I need?

I called the suggested motel (and called and called until 8am PST) and heard the voice of a sweet lady named Diana. She must be a mom because she "got it" right away. I made a room reservation for the Airmen and they can split it 3 ways and pay in cash when they arrive.

Of course then V texts to see if I can find them a rental car so they can get around, go to a restaurant, etc. After all they have all day. They'll arrive in Santa Maria around noon.

Leaping into action with the best of intentions I get some guy with a thick accent at the Avis call center. Grrrr. I'm very good with accents, really I am, but this guy and the cell phone did not make for an understandable connection. Two calls later and a different person to talk to and I had an e-mailed confirmation of a mid-sized car at a good price.

I called Faith back to say thank you. She didn't know what to say. She didn't need to say anything. I heard her smile.

At least I now know they have a safe place to spend the night and get some shut-eye, if they can (!), before they all travel HOME on Saturday.

~~~~~

Lastly today, please hold a special place in your heart for CopperPom. Her son is quite ill and she and her family can use all the positive energy we can generate.

To Copper's Little Pom ~

I am sending you light, to heal you, to hold you

I am sending you light to hold you in love.

A1C V

Congratulations Graduate
A1C THOMAS, MMT

Today is the first full day V puts on her new rank: Airman First Class Select, and will get to wear her stripes AND her missileer patch!

Today she and her 10 classmates/wingmen will don their dress blues and march to the graduation stage, be announced by name and rank, receive their graduation certificate and be "pinned" with the shiny silver missileer pin.

I wish I was there to see it all, but I am bursting with pride for her from here... and she'll be home in 55 hours for a HUGE MOM-SQUISH!

Who's Counting?

82 Hours 'til V arrives!!!

...and I can HUG the stuffin' out of her!!

Good news came her way with her orders. (I swear this girl is 'golden' and the AF is Divinely meant to be her path.)

At her permanent duty base (Minot AFB, ND) she could have been in one of two Squadrons. Either Missle Operations or Missle Maintenance. I thought that Operations was working to support missle readiness and Maintenance was missle facilities maintenance. Big oops on mom's part!

Operations personnel are those that work on the vehicles and in workshops that support the actual Maintenance of the missles.

Both roles are vital to the success of the mission, but her heart lies in her hands-on work with the missle. V was worried that she'd be stuck in the back of a workshop changing oil and repairing cables until she was chosen by a missle team. Being both female and small she feared that it could be quite some time before someone realized her capability and dedication to her training.

Not So! She, and another Airman who is a friend of hers, were both chosen for the Missle Maintenance Squadron!!! Oh happy day!

Here are the details:

The 91st Maintenance Group is the maintenance backbone of the 91st Space Wing. The group was originally activated as the 91st Maintenance and Supply Group on November 10, 1948. Today, the group is responsible for providing maintenance and logistics support for the wing’s ICBM fleet. The two squadrons assigned to the group are the 91st Missile Maintenance Squadron and 91st Maintenance Operations Squadron.

Tagged!

Tonjia tagged me so, whether you like it or not, here you go!

1. There is absolutely nothing you can do (short of harming my kids ~ and they're big enough to fend for themselves now) to make me eat a pickled beet. Nothing.

2. My parents had three girls. Once I grew old enough to realize that this meant the end of the family name from this particular branch, and that thought made me sad, I decided to do something about it. Now my middle name is hyphenated with my maiden name and so are my kids'.

3. I have always thought ~ and continue to think ~ that I have cute toes.

4. What I miss most from my childhood are the Passover Seders we had at Uncle Avrum and Aunt Clara's house when my Zeyde was alive. That means I would have been about 5 or 6 years old, but I remember moments from them, like snapshots of memories. Even after Zeyde passed, those were the best nights, best music to sing, best foods and best family time of the year.

5. I bite the cuticles around my finger nails.

6. The aloe plants in my kitchen all started from one small plant I gave to my mother in law when T and I were dating (circa 1983ish). She didn't take very good care of it but it hung on for years until... 1994 when it was given back to me on the occassion of her move to AZ.
I nursed it back to health, propogated it, my sister Julie had it transplanted for me as a present one year, and now there are at least 20 "babies", most in homes of friends, but several here too. All from that one momma plant, that I STILL HAVE!

7. I'm an English snob. I appreciate accurate word usage and spelling too. I know I don't always utilize the most perfect grammar when writing here, but when speaking I often back up and correct myself.
What grates me the most? Dangling participles and the phrase, "Where are you at?" Ahhh! Even typing it makes me cringe the cringe of a thousand little deaths! What the heck ever happened to, "Where are you?" as an acceptable question?

7.5 (Bonus! Lucky you, eh?) I don't believe that "popular use" is a good reason for proper spelling to change. The word 'alright' does not exist!

Here are the rules of the Tag Game:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog. {done}
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird. {done}
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. {7?! Nope 6, and that's my final answer.}
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. {ok, if I must}

TAG! You're IT!
Sharon
Avivah
Susan
Diana
Stefani
Galatea

My Beautiful Friend

My remembrance of you
Will never be altered
No matter how long
I'm left here alone

I'm left here alone
To live out my days
Still full of your grace
And my remembrance of you

Time paints a picture
And changes a season
Never to pass
The same way again

The same way again
Until the day when
I meet you in heaven
My beautiful friend.

~ Diana Jones

Rest peacefully, Riley. You are loved.

My First Blog Award

This award was given to me this morning by my dear friend and fellow blog-mom, Deb.

Deb's blog is just plain sweet. Whether she's dealing with her little piece of a creek and the snakes hiding in her grass, or the trials and joys of being a mom, she's a wonderful read with some insightful thoughts and pics to share.

I am so honored, Deb! Thank you.

MidSummer Day

I couldn't resist posting some MidSummer art today. I worked all morning and am off to celebrate and sing with friends and community this evening. In between I'll tend my garden and relax a bit with a glass of lemonade. That's all folks.




Nothing deep today. These pics just make me smile. Have a wonderful day ~ see you tomorrow.

Pics from today

How's this one for Skywatch Friday? (my first)

J and friend T cleaning out the trees.

This ornament will become a part of the Temple

My fave pic of all...

Today's SUNBURN!

The Detroit Dream Project

I spent a portion of my day at this amazing project site in the Old Reford area of Detroit, an area deeply hit by urban blight, learning how Joshua, friends and I (and you too!) can be a part of reclaiming a small donated patch of land, where once stood a crack house, that is in the process of being transformed, by volunteers with the help of California designer David Best, into a community temple/pavillion.

This is a truly beautiful labor of love and we're excited to be even a tiny part of making it happen. Take a look at the scale of it!



Tomorrow morning we will be clearing the area of all debris, pulling weeds, moving benches, planting daylillies and disposing of broken asphalt so that the landscapers can begin to level the soil and bring in sod patches. If you're close enough to make it ~ please come help!

The first event that will take place there is a wedding ~ On Saturday afternoon!

Please read more about The Detroit Dream Project and the Temple of the American Dream. http://www.detroitdreamproject.com/

And you really are welcome to come down and join us tomorrow morning!

Seriously?!

Ok kiddies... this one's NOT for you! Go here instead.

I was driving to work yesterday at 9:45 a.m. just minding my own business and going down a five lane road, at the posted speed limit, in the right hand lane... when the car in the next lane over starts to creep into my lane. I scooched over to the side a little and kept an eye on him.

A second or two later it happened again - same car, same middle aged brown haired anglo guy - creeping over and ever closer to my front driver's side quarter panel. Not cool!

This time he gets close enough that I tapped my brakes and honked, full on at him, whereupon he swerved back into his lane and gave me the oddest apologetic look imaginable. As if... He couldn't help it? What?! Like heck he couldn't!

Then it dawned on me.

I was innocently munching my breakfast while driving.

Nothing elaborate...

Just...

A BANANA!

Can you imagine if he'd've actually hit me... explaining THAT ONE to the cops?!

9 days, I hope

I just got off the phone with Avivah...

She passed her PT Evaluation today!!!


Tech School Graduation
Thursday, 26 June


Can't be 100% sure until she actually has her orders in hand but we've started to look at flights for late in the day on Friday the 27th.


Huggage is getting closer!

Joshua and Jake

J and I slept in a little yesterday (as late as Mooch would allow me to) and then headed to the bank and the post office to mail V a little belated birthday surprise from her brother.

From there we picked up J's girlfriend S and the three of us went to see KungFu Panda. Great flick! Skadoosh! LOL I highly recommend it.

Then it was home to change into jeans and grab S a sweatshirt as the evening cooled down. Quick dinner at Toxic Hell [aka: Taco Bell] and it was off to Dragonmead to meet friends for a glass of their newest brew "Dark Heathen" (for the adults of course!)

Just the name of it had me at 'Hello', but the taste? Oh my goodness! Smooth and spicy, dark and not heavy. I was in heaven. Be careful if you go try it though. It's 13% alcohol and sneaks up on you! I brought munchies to share and one of the gang ordered a cheese tray, so we were fine.

J and S played darts and hung out while the 4 adults gabbed about all things political and otherwise. We raised a toast at 8pm (5pm in California) in honor of same sex marriage. S really enjoyed Dragonmead's Lemonade Soda, which is my favorite too.

Gosh it was a good day.

I was tempted to add the pics, but the best marriage pic award goes to CopperPom.

~~~~~

Sad news to share posted by urbanfairies, whose blog I just found, who writes:
Jake Woods passed away on September 16th. Most of us knew him as "Shakey Jake".

********************

Shakey Jake was an Ann Arbor, MI icon. Everyone knew of him and was happy to see him and his loose-strung guitar, gracing random A2 street corners. You never knew where he'd be, but you were always happy to see him. It was as if everything was 'right' with the world if Shakey Jake was a part of your day.

Rumors would swirl that there was more than one Jake, that he was a wealthy eccentric, or that he was a mental patient at University Hospital who was allowed away at random times. None of that was true. There was only one Jake. Born in New Orleans 82 years ago and 'taken' to Ann Arbor, he was a one-of-a-kind man.

Whether he was "shakey" because he physically shook a little, or because of his mental state I'm not sure. I am sure that his one mission in life was to make people smile and bring some "music" to their otherwise academic and work focused lives. He succeeded.

As belated as it is...

Dear Jake,
You will be missed by generations of Ann Arborites, townies and students alike, on whose lives you have shed incredible light.
Good Job. Thank you. Rest in Peace.

Anti-Authority... Knitting

I learned to knit after a 15 minute lesson during a three day long BORED meeting. To this day my knitting is nothing fancy at all. Promise. I've knit a bridal shawl and crocheted a 52 granny square poncho (you can't bring knitting needles on an overseas flight, so I learned to crochet. 1 trip and 52 squares later...), but really I simply enjoy creating fashion scarves to wear or give away.

The best part of knitting for me is to bargain hunt for yarn or ribbon to pair up in unique combinations and then to have or give away a piece of wearable art. Easy, quick and pretty. I can't not enjoy it.

My favorite to create and wear is a suit scarf, which I make using two ladder ribbon fibers and finish with matching fringe. I'll post a pic of one if I can find a good model. Hmmm, now who do I know... (*winks* I know a model)

I have knit lap pads for hospital patients and a square or five for the "KnitaRiver" campaign. A successful effort to raise world awareness and compassion for countries needing safe, clean water.

I also recently learned that there is World Wide Knit In Public Day (WWKIP). Something in which I plan on participating next year (or whenever a group of knitters wants to gather). Official annual date: June 14th

But apparently there's an even newer fad sweeping the knitting world, and it's... oddly fascinating. The goth, punk and BDSM communities have claimed the notorious knitting needle as a creative medium for their signature fashions. Nope, not kidding.


Pretty in Punk: 25 Punk, Rock, and Goth Knitting Projects
Whether you're new to knitting or a veteran desperately seeking patterns with an edge, you'll find projects here for every mood and every genre. With step-by-step instructions, helpful technical illustrations and intarsia graphs, plus high-fashion photos of all the finished projects, Pretty in Punk is the only authority on anti-authority knitting.
Order, if you dare, here.

Oh, but wait! Like a Ginsu knife offer... There's more!

AntiCraft: Knitting, Beading, and Stitching for the Slightly Sinister
Filled with projects such as the Tough Baby Sweater, the I [Skull] Trouble Tote and a sleek, black duct-tape corset, Anticraft takes an approach much sought after by the growing audience of hot publications like BUST, Ready Made and Craft: transforming traditional crafts into quirky wearable fashion. Featuring a variety of knitting, crochet, stitching and beading projects the book instructs, inspires and entertains.

DomiKNITrix: Whip Your Knitting Into Shape
Mastering knitting skills requires discipline, attitude, and wit to transform a ho-hum stitcher into a badass knitter--a domiknitrix. Stafford uses the dominatrix language well and with humor in this entertaining, beautifully designed, and instructive book. Knitters with the basics (cast on, knit, and purl) will find this a fun and highly instructional book to take them from scarf to structured clothing. What are you waiting for?! Order it NOW, you grovelling worm!

Happy Dad's Day

To all you Dads out there

Who got silly ties

Or home made cards and burnt breakfast in bed.
Who wish they'd've gotten a pair of these cool

Cufflink-Levels

Or an OMG Super Charged BBQ GRILL!

~~~~~

My dad was pretty cool for a guy with three daughters. LoL He still coached my sister's softball teams and taught us how to fish, but he was a pro at attending dance recitals and vocal and orchestra concerts too.

He took me to my first Opera (Madame Butterfly) and my first stage Musical (The Sound of Music). He planted my first garden with me. In fact, he made gardening magical for me.

So imagine... One weekend morning when I was 6 or 7 years old, dad and I tilled a small patch of soil (Michigan clay) and planted radish and carrot seeds. We chattered the whole time while we weeded, seeded, and watered our neat little rows. It was amazing to me that *we* were going to grow something to eat (that I didn't even like!) with our own hands. How exciting! I sneaked peeks at the little plot of dirt all day long. It was all I could do to sleep that night.

It must've been a Saturday that we planted because my parents were both asleep in their bed when I tiptoed past them in my pajamas early the next morning and out to the garden patch. Over the concrete patio, down the stairs and around and

WHOA!

Our radishes were up! Two neat rows lined with pairs of tiny green leaves, right behind the seed package I staked to the ground with a popsicle stick. There they were, overnight. I RAN in the house...

"DAD!" I wailed, and I'm sure I went on and on about how they were UP and could we eat them yet and...

My dad would have none of it. The seeds weren't going to sprout overnight and no, I couldn't eat them yet. He didn't believe me.

I'm sure I whined for a good long time because he finally relented and came outside with me. And there, in our two lovingly tended rows, he was greeted with... itty bitty radish leaves poking up from the soil.

I think he marveled at it even more than I did, but it was there, right in front of our eyes. To this day I can't eat a radish without thinking of that morning, us standing in the damp grass in our pajamas. And I still don't like radishes all that much!!

I didn't see the connection when I was little, but his dad, my grandfather ("Zeyde") was a good gardener too. He called me his "strawberry girl". (The kid who ate them off the vine before he could!) He also grew the most amazing Silver Dollar plants I've ever seen. As much as I've tried, I can't grow them at all.

So this morning, with thoughts of my Zeyde and my dad, who have both passed on, I head out to my garden to dead head my flowers and pause, to think about your love of the earth and how you each gave me this as an enduring gift. Thank you.

Happy Father's Day

Part of a gathering
But wandered far afield
The edge of deep woods
whispers low
It had always called her

Back to the meadow
or
Separate, she chooses

Disdain and anger her familiar friends
Hope and faith, new allies

Farther she ventures
Not one gives chase
to her pained heart

Cursing in a backwards glance
Then forewards
Forging a path by her own will
She builds conviction with each footfall

And slips ~ away

Spoiled Mom

I was such a spoiled mom yesterday!

Just as I was getting ready for work V called and we chatted a bit. She had an unexpected PT, so got shower time and a little bit of "free" time, though she was cleaning and getting things done while chattering. She chose to call mom. Happy me!

Her new phone's really decent on speaker phone so I don't protest as much as I might otherwise. What's the absolute worst is when she text messages while we talk... it sounds like I'm being bludgeoned in the ear with a bunch of carrots!! Ouch!

She's still waiting to have her PT evaluation. They need to do both female MMTs together. Unfortunately, her 'twin' is unable to do it yet because she slid into base during a Base Challenge baseball game, wearing shorts, and tore up the side of her leg with 'road rash'. (Badly enough that she was on crutches for a few days!) Some of it's scabbed over and healing just fine, but one area is infected. Oy! Until it happens, V takes every day as though it might be eval day, which I think is a healthy attitude. Better prepared than not, right?

She says that night shift is a rowdy bunch and they trashed the day shift's classroom this week just for kicks. She (day shift) was not amused. There's one guy in that shift/class that is a great student and she feels badly for him. The rest, in her words, are 'losers' as MMTs. Same ol' opinionated V, eh?!

I'm wondering, especially in light of the recent firings at the AF's highest level, how these less-than-stellar students will do at their future bases with the behaviour problems and 'barely passing' test scores they have. Sheesh, you'd think that the minimum passing grade would be higher than a 75 for this particular profession?! Makes me nervous thinking that the application of one wrong bolt by these knuckleheads and the world could be a very different place. shudder

On a brighter note: Speaking of test scores, (warning: insanely proud mom moment coming) V is #2 in her class as of this writing! Wahoo! 2 weeks and counting to get that hug I've been craving. :-D

On the home front I was really spoiled yesterday by Joshua!

Before I left for work he and I planned a BBQ menu for which he had to go to the store and buy marinade for the swordfish steaks he was defrosting. Soon after I left, off on his bike he went. He chose a delish Caribbean Jerk marinade, bought it... only to find that someone had "jacked" his bike while he was inside. (That's "stole" for those of you w/o teens). He walked home. :(

I'm getting this story after I got off work and checked my voicemails. What he had left of his bike (which he said he locked to itself through the frame and wheel) was the seat! I was so mad. He was upset too. I purposely stopped at the same store for milk and ventured a look-see around. I mean, who wants a bike without a seat?

There it was, no lock or seat post, behind the CVS on the other end of the strip mall. I brought it home. It needs a little bit of brake work and a replacement seat post ~and lock~ but otherwise it's ok and we're both relieved. Lesson learned, no harping required.

SO! In the midst of all of this, Joshua still manages to keep the cat from tasting the swordfish while it defrosted, marinate the steaks, prep the grill and bake brownies! I assembled a salad and made potatoes. Together we had made the most delicious dinner! What a great ending to an 'interesting' day.

In other mom news:

A couple of days ago I got a post-surgery call from the daughter of my gf (AF mom) Lolly in CA. Everything went a little better than expected and Lolly's already home resting, one day later. This particular daughter, like mine, is a friend and a gift to her mom in so many ways. L-A, you rock!

Big congrats to AF mom Deb whose daughter N just announced her engagement!

And my frend Michele is celebrating her daughter Macie's HS graduation this weekend. There's another mother/daughter team that rocks. V and Macie are friends and leading the way for Michele and I. Ok, we all rock.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Ah, da J Man!

Yesterday I was on call for a good chunk of the day but, lo and behold, did NOT get called in. Yeee haw! Instead, I got to spend the day with Joshua. Ok... a large portion of the day.

I tried to wake him starting just before 10am. I thought that was fair. Still 'sleeping in' for the first day of summer break, but up at a reasonable hour for a teenager, yes? At 10:40 he was out of bed and in the shower. By NOON he was dressed to turn in summer job applications, the car was loaded with a massive can/bottle return (.10/ea in MI) and we were ready to be out the door.

Cans/bottles done, errand to get Father's Day gift complete, job app turned in we headed out for lunch together.

J and I have a 'thing' for evaluating local burger joints and both of us had a yen to try the FUDDRUCKERS on Woodward Ave.. So North we went.

On the way we saw a lot of downed trees and Edison/ATT trucks repairing the power lines from our recent tornadoes. Whole swaths of large trees lay twisted and shattered like so many toothpicks on the ground and in the roadway. Caution tape stretched for 100s of yards.

But that all happened on Sunday. No prob, right? Reaching our destination (10 miles N out of our way) we saw a sign on the door.
CLOSED - NO POWER
So the burger evaluation* will have to wait. sigh
We went to Duggan's (closer to home) and T joined us.

After lunch there were two more quick stops to make and then home... to put together T's Father's Day gift and present it to him before he left (this morning) for AZ, to visit his dad.

Out in the schvitz (sweaty humidity) in the back yard, unbeknownst to T, J and I assembled his gift... A new hammock stand. We called T out to the yard and... I think he even stayed awake saying 'thank you' for a whole 10 minutes before falling into an hour long nap right there in his newly hung hammock! That was quite the thanks. I think he likes it. LoL

Meanwhile J planted 4 celosia and I got ready to go out with my gf Lorie. We had a wonderful visit, catching up on everything under the sun. The evening was cool and calm here so that was really nice too.

All in all it was a wonderful gift of a day with J and my gf.
Today I'm working and he'll be BBQing dinner. :)
Tomorrow I think we'll go see a matinee of KungFuPanda.

In between we're getting things ready for Avivah to come home.
Two weeks from today she will graduate Technical School and put on her A1C stripes. A day later, if all goes well, she should be HOME!!!

*Duggan's burgers are good, but not the best. Thusfar the best burger in the Metro Detroit area goes to CheeburgerCheeburger in Birmingham. And yes, J applied to work there. Job title? Connoisseur, of course! LoL

Not for the kiddies today!

Ok, it's your call...

but don't say I didn't warn you!!

Love this. It reminds me of the first dinner T and I made as a married couple... Lucky Charms; in the fine china bowls of course!

I know he's 16, but this one's for you J (my Seuss-aholic)

A fan of the musical "Cats"? You'll think this is cute...

This floats my boat...

These fashions are made entirely out of ~~~
CONDOMS!

I have my days...

If you "get this" pic and think it's darned funny:

a) You're an uber-D&D-geek

b) I think I love you

Lady on table = me

AND for those who need their daily dose of porn...

A CHICK IN BONDAGE

What is it? you ask...

Why it's a DILL-DOE!!!
~~~~~

HEY! I have successfully corrupted two children, so I have a proven track record here. And I DID warn you!