Friday, August 29, 2008

SkyWatch Friday

Happy SkyWatch Friday.
I couldn't decide which picture to post so, lucky you, you get a bonus shot.

This is the vessel in the center of the memorial that stands in the family circle at the cemetery where my father, and other dear ones rest.

I've always liked the image of being "full" with blessings, or being a vessel through which the Divine works.

This is one of the first blooming Morning Glories I've had this year. It had rained that night and I couldn't resist trying to capture a pic of the droplets on the blossom. I liked the early morning, cloudy, white-grey sky too.

I hope it's a glorious day for you all.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Quick Pics

My budding photographer sent samples to share with y'all!

This is the candle holder that V got at the Airman's Attic the day she worked there last week. It reminds her of Mooch, here in MI.

Because it is clear glass she had a tough time getting a pic in the daylight. Solution? Take the picture in the evening with a tealight glowing softly in it and... Voila! Beautiful. I love the reflection in her dresser top too.

This is the dragonfly V found perched happily on the ceiling of her dorm's kitchen. She says it was black with blue and yellow stripes, which is cool I'm sure. I'm just as happy that the picture turned out rather black and white-looking. The contrast is striking!

Stay tuned for SkyWatch Friday... coming soon!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

East Side West Side

All around the town... (sing along!)

I now work on the East Side of town and live on the West Side of town (divided clearly by I-75 which runs N/S from Florida, right up the middle of the Detroit area).

Remember when I interveiwed for my new job, I said that my father is resting about a mile from an intersection I pass twice a day? Well I took my afternoon off today and went from work to have lunch with dad and the relatives. After all, I owed my dad a 'thank you' for helping me get the job!

From there I drove even further East and spent some time on the shore of Lake St. Clair. What a glorious day it was to be at the lakeside in the sunshine! It almost felt like a little vacation.

When the time finally came, it didn't take that much longer to get home from the lakeshore than it did the office. Cool beans.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Meet Seymour

He's Lean! He's Mean! He's Green!
He's an Eating Machine!
Meet J's new 'pet'...

Uncle S and I went to breakfast and then stopped at a garden store where we picked out the perfect one for J. I brought it home mid-afternoon.

Best laugh of the month? Yesterday Afternoon.
Seeing Joshua's face the first time Seymour's jaw-like petals CHOMPED an ant! (Petal on the left contains said ant.)

There's J, staring at Seymour, eyes bugged out, jaw agape, face 'stuck' in a silent scream... Wow, do I ever wish I'd've had my camera at the ready.

It's funny, but it's tough not to think of Joshua's new Venus Fly Trap, Seymour, as anything but a pet of sorts. "He" (yes, I just personified and engendered a plant) needs special water, special sunlight, and of course a specific sized live food too! Then we find out that he's becoming endangered in his natural habitat. So now he has our heartstrings too. How much more pet-like can he get?!

J named it after the Little Shop of Horrors plant, which we all know was named Audrey, of "Feed Me, Seymour!" fame. He felt that since this was a new one, he'd name it in honor of the flick's tragic hero. Sweet, huh?

And there you have it. Our newest family member.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

39 Oddities

39 ODD Things About ME!

Do you like blue cheese? NO!

Have you ever smoked heroin? No

Do you own a gun? I'm ready to but don't yet.

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I don't, but Sonic Limeade Rawks!

Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? YES. Total White Coat Terrors

What do you think of hot dogs? Kosher ones - Yummo!

Favorite Christmas movie? Does 'Nightmare Before Christmas' count?

What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water, then COFFEE!

Can you do push ups? One.

What would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "How'd YOU get here?!"

What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My pinky ring, made from a small section of my father's bracelet.

Favorite hobby? Gardening

What's one trait you like about yourself? I will drop everything I can to help someone I know in need.

Middle name? Michelle

Name 3 things you bought yesterday: Only two: A cup of coffee. A pretty nighty that turned out to be too big.

Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, Water, Diet Coke

Current dislike right now? Lack of motivation to PURGE the house

How did you bring in the New Year? Bored outta my skull

Where would you like to go? Starting in Minot, ND to visit V, then touring the Dakotas.

Name three people who will complete this? Hmmm, how about this... Anyone who does this, post a comment here so people can see your answers!

Do you own slippers? 3 pair, I think (See purge note above)

What shirt are you wearing? A white, red, black patterned, V neck, sleeveless top

Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Never tried it

Favorite color? Burgundy

Would you be a pirate? Nope, no interest

Favorite girl's names? Acacia, Avivah, Siobhan

Favorite boy's names? Joshua, Elijah, Drew

What's in your pocket right now? No pockets in these capris

Last thing that made you laugh? J's new "pet" (more to come on that)

Best bed sheets as a child? I never had any special sheets

Do you love where you live? I love the land and some of the surrounding area, but I can bloom wherever I'm planted.

How many TVs do you have in your house? 2

How many dogs do you have? 0

Does someone have a crush on you? Yep.

What are your favorite books? Anything by Laurell K. Hamilton

What is your favorite candy? Dark Chocolate Covered Orange Peel

What song do you want played at your funeral? "Roll Me Over in the Clover" ROFL

What were you doing 12 AM last night? I can't tell you that. I'd have to shoot you. ;)

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? "Oh bliss! I can go back to sleep if I want to!"

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Lines in the Sand

One new AF Mom is being told by her employer that she could lose her job because she asked for 2 hours off to take her son to MEPS to leave for BMT. I would call that: Time to draw a line.

Another AF Mom already responded exactly as I would have... If they don't understand 2 hours off to say goodbye to your child for 6.5 weeks, how will they understand several days for BMT Grad?! Likely they won't. Just ask me or my mom, BMT Graduation is not to be missed!

I nearly had this same thing happen when V was home on RAP. "What part of: 'My daughter is home and I don't know WHEN I'll be able to say that again', do you not understand?!", as they scheduled me to work evenings and weekends during the time I said I couldn't/wouldn't.

In the not-so-distant past I have been drawn in to situations where I felt I was doing the right thing, only to find that I had been drawn in too far and my boundaries had become blurred. What wake up calls those were. Being able to draw crucial lines that I value and respect is a learned skill. Though it saddens me, I draw more lines with less guilt than I used to.

I used to slough off negative back-handed remarks too, about my weight changes, my religion, my parenting and other personal choices. Now I'll do my darndest not to let the speaker go unnoted.

Just yesterday I decided that I am giving myself a gift in order to draw a healhty line.

In order to know where I need to draw my lines to stay balanced and in line with my goals, I am gifting myself one week of only doing my new job and none other. How else will I know what I can give my retail job and not resent the giving? What do I need to give my new employer without short-changing them? I can't. So, one week of nothing but my new job, my evenings pretty much free, and no weekend work (starting tomorrow) it is!

One less paycheck, but one happier, healthier, slightly less crazed me.

Good line so far!

Friday, August 22, 2008

SkyWatch Friday

One bright, puffy-clouded sky.
One stunning 1960 Oldsmobile.
And the best part?
The license plate is from... North Dakota!
Happy SkyWatch Friday

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Holy Wow

I started at my new job today!

Half of my day felt amazing, like embarking on a marvelous new journey with abundant potential. New people, open minds... Cool!

The rest of my 11-hour day was spent wondering what the heck I've gotten myself into. Office politics, troublesome red-headed step children... Oy!

The day was capped off by a committee meeting starring a stellar employee who's done a phenominal job at preparing for this whole thing... at which I sat nodding quietly ~ a lot. 2 bits of contributions and a definite air of "who are you again?!" prevailed.

So for now it's watch and learn... and then jump in to the deep end, life preserver or not!

Say an extra prayer for me this next couple of days, will you please? I think I'm gonna need it.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Love Is...

For those of you not "of age" to remember this wonderful cartoon strip...
Translation please?

The 'classic car hug' yesterday was just like this!!!

Weekend ReCap

Friday eve was a little celebration of my new job. My fave brew: "Under the Kilt Wee Heavy" is back at Dragonmead and I tipped a pint. Joshua taught us how to play some version of poker - Texas Hold 'em? I dunno. I'm so not a card person.

Got a slow start yesterday after a pretty emotional day and a nearly sleepless night. So much on my mind I thought my ears would pop from the pressure. I worked from noon-5 at our store sale. What a crazy event. We did $1000 in 30 min. Yeah, it was like that. After that I headed back to Woodward Ave. hoping to catch up with Joshua and his buddies. That never did happen, but I get a couple of cute pics...
You can't see it, but this deck set up, complete with BBQ, covered picnic table, open deck with benches, tiki torches and a 4 person hot tub.... Is all on a truck trailer!!! Can you see the people in the hot tub? Ok, maybe you don't really want to see them, but it's neat that they're there. Is this cool or what?!
And this is the classic car hug I saw right in front of me. All together now... "awwwwww!" It reminds me so much of those "Love Is..." cartoons from the 70's

I'm off to see my gf Vicki to cover my greys. I think I grew 50 more in the past couple days alone. Ciao for now!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Couldn't Resist

In honor of Sir Mooch-a-lot and his garden contributions. giggling!

Friday, August 15, 2008

*NEWS x2!*

Avivah Graduated FTAC today. Her name is listed in an article on Minot AFB's website. Go see!

23 Airmen graduate FTAC here
Minot Air Force Base Public Affairs 8/15/2008

MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. -- Congratulations to the following Airmen who graduated from the First Term Airman Center here Aug. 15. The First Term Airman Center is a two-week transitory seminar designed to aid Airmen with their transition from the systematic and regimented environment of basic military training and technical school to their first duty station.



I just got off the phone... I got the job!
20 hrs a week to start, building towards full time.

I gotta go breathe now! OMG!

Catching up

On Tuesday eve I got a call from the Director of the business to which I'd applied and been scheduled for an interview on the 20th (with someone other than the Director). He said he'd reviewed my resume and asked if I could come in the next day (Wednesday) because he'd like to speak with me regarding a different postion. Yikes!

I spent the rest of the evening and all the next morning frantically preparing for it, asking others I know who know people who know, researching the job title (I wasn't sent a description), and memorizing every fact and tidbit I could about the organization.

I have this motto: You're not prepared unless you're over-prepared. In my case, Insanely over-prepared, but knowledge is power. Right?

As I'm driving there the heavens open like a million massive water balloons had been popped. What a deluge! Being awfully early (over-prepped and an hour early, lol), I located the business so I could find it easily and pulled in to a store parking lot about a half mile away. Originally I had tried to review my notes but the rain was so loud I couldn't concentrate!

Then V called. We chatted about her and what was happening in her life. I told her I was waiting for an interview and she wished me good luck. I called Joshua too, just to touch base.

It did me a world of good to focus on my personal goals. Having both of my kids wish me good luck (and others too, thank you) just 'did it' for me. Now I could focus and relax. I have my priorities and goals and I am working to meet them. *breathe*

I really want a job that values me and my skills, gives me a stable schedule, to feel successful, enables me to take a vacation when I can (to relax, see the kids and the rest of the world), and to establish myself as something more than a mom and part time teacher.

I think it went very well, but it's anyone's guess until I hear something - hopefully later today. Eek!

If you believe in omens... try these:
  • It's the same exit off the freeway as my all-time-favorite pub: Dragonmead
  • I drove right past the beautiful brand new dealership for my favorite motorcycle: Triumph
  • I passed an intersection exactly 1 mile from the cemetery where my Dad is buried. Keep an eye on me, will ya' Dad?
  • 2 miles S of the business is a drive-through Starbucks. :)
  • The rain cleared entirely as I drove up to the business for the interview.
Let's hope these all work in my favor!

Yesterday's court appearance was... interesting.
I was the only witness. After sitting watching the court goings-on for a while, I was called out of the courtroom to speak with both of the lawyers, after which the charges lessened from Assault and Battery -to- Disorderly Conduct in a Public Place. He plead guilty so I didn't have to be called to the stand. Yipee!

In my opinion he didn't deserve A&B. If he did, it should have been for both parents, equally. Even the DC should really have been for both of them, but I don't have a say in that, so it was what it was and I was free to go. His sentencing is next month, so I think I'm done with this.

The rest of the day was my own, thank goodness. After the surprise job interview and court the next morning I was fried. One friend, one blanket and one hour basking in the sunshine and I was feeling pretty good. I stopped on the way home for upholstery pins for Joshua's room and a celebratory Slurpee.

Life is good.

SkyWatchin' and Cruisin'

Happy SkyWatch Friday!
It's been a rainy week on and off here in SE MI, but not without peeks of sunshine

And a glimpse of a double rainbow!

Then yesterday, it looked like THIS all day long. Happy Happy Joy Joy!


Last night I went to the WoodwardDreamCruise. The crowds have been building all week and it's so darned much fun to see everyone out there cruising, watching, revving their engines and squealing their tires!!!

Called V amidst the purr and roar of the engines. Oh man, that girl was jealous! Shhh, J and I got her this year's t-shirt.

We may go to the SALEEN Open House tour today, but we're definitely heading back to Woodward Ave. later and probably tomorrow after work for the 'official' cruise.

If you're a classic car nut, or just a fan like me, give it a day or two and there'll be pics. Maybe even a pic next Friday of the sky reflected in some brightly polished chrome, or from under a GTO's hood!!! Woot!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

She Lives!

I haven't forgotten about you, Dear Reader. Life has taken a bit of a left turn and I'm doing my best to keep up in light of the excitement.

Bits for now:
V called and says she is going to be MHT because there's a Sergeant she thinks is terrific who wants her on his team - big time.
I sent her a package that included a Brita Water Pitcher and many other things (I sent a moving box full of stuff!) She was MOST excited about the water pitcher... and the DumDum sucker! LoL
The job interview I have on the 20th got moved... to yesterday.
This morning I am off to testify at the court house.

More soon!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Monday Again?

Well I had last Thursday off, but won't have another day off til Wednesday. Working over the weekends is getting to be more prevalent, and next weekend is a huge sale all day Sat/Sun. I know already that it's a goner for me. *sigh*

In good news, I have a job interview scheduled for the 20th. Professional, Mon thru Fri, 9-5, no weekends or evenings. Oh what I wouldn't do for that, eh? No more talk about that though. I can't afford to jinx anything!

On Friday evening, Joshua worked with the Police Explorers at the Troy Jamfest. He ended up dancing and swimming and had a blast.

What is JamFest?? Here's the skinny...
High school students looking for a good party with great music know to head to Summer JamFests on Friday nights at the Troy Family Aquatic Center. JamFests run from 8-11 p.m. and parents can feel secure sending their teens to this substance-free party sponsored by local police departments.

Admission is only $5. There’s swimming, sand volleyball contests, bands, disc jockeys, water basketball, jewelry making, and more. Admission includes a $3 voucher that teens receive toward concessions.

Cool, huh? I think so. I went out and had dinner and laughs with a big group of friends and then roasting marshmallows at a backyard campfire. J and I each had a really good night!

Saturday I worked and then went shopping with my BFF. He needed some electronics for his house, and I wanted to look at new phones since my "new every 2" is about to come up. In the end we ran into the best deal on a laptop computer that I'd seen in a long time. Hard drive, memory, video card, CD/RW, DVD, weight, screen size, everything just right. And it's a new generation/model too... for only $449. Wow!

I called V immediately, shared the specs and told her the price. She said yes, she could afford it. It took driving to another store to find one in stock, but we did and it's being shipped to her today. I think the rainbows and fabulous sunset skies we saw that evening were good omens. :)

Soon V'll be able to play music, upload pics from her camera and watch DVDs in her room, or go down to the day room in her dorm and use the free wireless to e-mail and IM her friends (and her mom *hint!*), update her blog, do her banking, etc. Not that she has a lot of time to do those things, she doesn't, but it increases the odds! LoL

J worked a little more on getting his room clean and ready for painting. He and I have been sharing ideas and having fun "designing". Lots of progress has been made. Thanks go to his friend Ryan who's helped, but most of it is just Joshua maturing and not hanging on to the toys and games of his younger years. It's admittedly bittersweet for me.

Worked again on Sunday. I am so sick of washing windows and mirrors, vacuuming, dusting and cleaning this store. grrrr If it's not that at opening, it's the major lifting, carrying and cleaning of closing. Really, I like the middle bit the best - waiting on customers and selling. Such is life, but hopefully only for now.

I'm off to get Joshua - my shaggy one - a hair cut. He had a job interview recently and the guy told him that if he got the job he'd need to tidy up his hair. (Thank you interview guy!) Then it's off to work for me later this afternoon. Joy of Joys.

That's all the news that fit to print from here. Make it a good one, will ya?

Friday, August 8, 2008

SkyWatch 080808

Happy 8th of the 8th of the 8th!
Happy Infinity Day!
Happy Bee Day!
Happy SkyWatch Friday!

In honor of Infinity Day, this picture is compliments of my splendicious daughter, Avivah. She took it from her dorm window at 6:57 this morning at Minot AFB ~ where the land is pancake-flat and the sky seems to go on infinitely ~ and sent it to share with you all today.
I hearts that girl! <3

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Oops on their part!

While at Vandenberg, V did community service for Habitat for Humanity. She had a wonderful time with all the volunteers as they built, emptied trash and painted each room a different color. That was the day that V's phone decided that it was a cookie, and the big bucket of white paint was milk... DUNK! Oops on her part.

The phone, her lifeline to the world, was a total loss. Nothing could be done. Long story short, the nice people at the Vandenberg AFB Verizon store *helped* her into a new phone with a new contract - to the tune of $120/mo. Ouch!

V had this phone for all of 8 or 9 DAYS when she received the new phone she really wanted in the mail from me, already activated with her former number, on her/our plan for $14.99/mo. She returned the replacement phone and cancelled the contract immediately - something she had 30 days to do.

Fast forward to two weeks ago... Verizon bills her for almost $400 for continuing service (to the long-cancelled phone)! She calls and explains the situation. Two days ago a revised bill arrives... for $290. Oh, No They Didn't!! Well yes, they did.

So I call V and tell her to deal with it before it effects her credit rating. Next thing I know I get a text message from her asking me to send her the bill right away. It seems that her First Shirt (Commanding officer) wants to help settle this debacle once and for all. Evidently this isn't the first tangle with the Vandenberg base Verizon Office that his Airmen have had, and he's royally pissed off. I sent it via Priority Mail.

I want to be a fly on the wall when Verizon gets this guy on the line!
MAJOR Oops on thier part!
Go, CMSgt. D! This mom's behind you all the way. And Thanks.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Welcome & More

Two blogs have been added to the Faboo List today.

Welcome to...
AF Dad Charles
Airman Mom

Though Charles hasn't written in a while, I'm sure he's melted even further by now!

Mom is a good writer and fellow AF Mom. Both our kids are in the same place as far as being at their first duty station, FTAC, etc... (Yeah, I knew about the kids having to have their wisdom teeth out. Oh, how my heart will ache for V and John during that experience!)

Also, If you're a reader of CopperPom's, you know that they are the sweetest family ever and that they need your support now. Copper's Little Pom (LP) has been diagnosed with a rare type of Chronic Kidney Disease. Copper created a website to distribute information and share their Needs List. It's not a wish list, they NEED. Visit the KidneyKid site to see an adorable pic of LP too!

Anything you can do to help, including prayer, is deeply appreciated. So please, dear compassionate reader, go read and visit.

Monday, August 4, 2008

A "Tissue Alert" Sing-along

(Turn off the playlist music now)

Today's post is for you, V. I love you.

I'd install a "follow the bouncing ball" feature if I could, but for you sing-along fans, here are the lyrics:

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I wanna be

In my daughter's eyes


In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace

This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak

I find reason to believe

In my daughter's eyes


And when she wraps her hand around my finger

Oh it puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer

I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough

It's giving more when you feel like giving up

I've seen the light

It's in my daughter's eyes


In my daughter's eyes I can see the future

A reflection of who I am and what will be

Though she'll grow and someday leave

Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me

For I'll be there

In my daughter's eyes

Sunday, August 3, 2008

REALLY Done! *Updated*

The new garden is done and I am content (for the time being! LoL)

This morning Joshua and I added two more "melting fire" Coral Bells and a small pink chrysanthemum. In time this plot should be burgeoning with blossoms that the bees and butterflys will love. The bird feeders are back up here too, making our goldfinches very happy.

Last night as J and I wrapped up the gardening to go bike riding, we brought in a small sprig of the Catmint (aka: Catnip) for Mooch. Oh, he was one happy kitty camper! =^..^=

The sale today was on a darker mulch so it doesn't match yesterday's. But how could I turn down 4 bags for $8.88? I couldn't. For aesthetic's sake, probably tomorrow morning when it cools down, I'll put a thin layer of the new, darker mulch down and all will be well. Ta-Da!

As for the remaining 3.5 bags of mulch... The back garden didn't get weeded enough or freshly mulched this season, so I have my work cut out for me. Just NOT on a day as hot as this one! And, I'm working 5-10 tonight, so exhausting myself in the heat isn't in the cards.

Off for another glass of water. Enjoy the day ~ wherever you are.

*** UPDATE! 8/4/08 11:27am ***

The rest of the mulch is in. Everything's doing fine - the rhubarb even has a new leaf this morning(!) and we're finally expecting some rain later today. Judging from the humidity I'm thinking it'll come sooner rather than later.

Meanwhile... Here's the updated pic (pardon my kneeling pad in the background).

Thanks to my sister Karen for the rain chime. It's been waiting two years now, I think, in different spots, waiting for the right one. Pretty sure it's home now.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Today's Efforts

~ New Garden Planted ~
1 each...
Butterfly Bush - Nanho Blue
Spirea - Magic Carpet
Sweet Potato Vine
Daylily - Strawberry Candy
Coral Bells - Melting Fire (2 more to come)
1 bag mulch (more to come)

1 bag of clothing giveaways
2 loads of laundry done
1 sink of dishes washed
1 huge (lawn) bag of cans/bottles returned
2 miles biked

I'M TIRED!!! How about you?

Belated SkyWatch

I had almost forgotten that it was SkyWatch Friday when, yesterday evening I caught this pic. How could I not post it? Enjoy.

Friday, August 1, 2008


So I'm out and about yesterday when I get a text message from V. (edited)

"Before you hear about it, cause I'm sure you will... MMT personnel are ok, 'cept one guy who has minor injuries."

Now, just how fast did your heart jump to your throat??? Mine made a bee-line!

V couldn't talk at the moment, but called a few minutes later. Those few minutes and a call to my friend and AF Mom Lolly, who's seen more military and AF life than I ever care to, calmed me down so I could think straight. Thank you Lolly and your daughter, the Goddess among Goddesses! :) Hope your nails turned out great.

Evidently it had been raining for the past couple days at Minot and the dirt and gravel roads were muddy. Fine for a car or truck, but not for the biggest "sexy white truck" the AF owns, as V calls it. This truck carries the down-stages of the missile - no warhead - and it's filled with what else? Fuel.

Early yesterday morning the truck goes out on the drive to a silo, reaches the gates, the crew gets out (except one, which is the procedure) secures the truck with blocks, chocks etc, opens the site... to turn around and watch as the truck slides on the muddy gravel and rolls on its side.

The Airman in the truck escaped with minor injuries, thank goodness.

V says they did everything by the book. I'm sure that the investigation will show that there is no way to predict what that much weight and height will do on a mud and gravel road. Maybe they'll improve the sites by installing concrete pads? Who knows. I choose to believe that the Airmen followed procedure.

But then there's this. CNN is calling it "the latest in a two-year string of Air Force mishaps" in which "Air Force personnel handling nuclear weapons consistently failed to follow rules."

While that may have been true of the previous error(s), that doesn't seem to be the case here. This I believe, was an accident in the true sense of the word. All the blocking and chocking in the world isn't going to stop a 70+ foot long truck that tops 100,000 pounds from sliding sideways. That's just physics in action.

So POO ON YOU, CNN for casting aspersions on the fine men and women who were doing their jobs, handling a truck and missile stages and fuel, to prepare a missile that, if needed, would keep your sorry asses safe in your newsrooms!