Saturday, August 23, 2008

Lines in the Sand

One new AF Mom is being told by her employer that she could lose her job because she asked for 2 hours off to take her son to MEPS to leave for BMT. I would call that: Time to draw a line.

Another AF Mom already responded exactly as I would have... If they don't understand 2 hours off to say goodbye to your child for 6.5 weeks, how will they understand several days for BMT Grad?! Likely they won't. Just ask me or my mom, BMT Graduation is not to be missed!

I nearly had this same thing happen when V was home on RAP. "What part of: 'My daughter is home and I don't know WHEN I'll be able to say that again', do you not understand?!", as they scheduled me to work evenings and weekends during the time I said I couldn't/wouldn't.

In the not-so-distant past I have been drawn in to situations where I felt I was doing the right thing, only to find that I had been drawn in too far and my boundaries had become blurred. What wake up calls those were. Being able to draw crucial lines that I value and respect is a learned skill. Though it saddens me, I draw more lines with less guilt than I used to.

I used to slough off negative back-handed remarks too, about my weight changes, my religion, my parenting and other personal choices. Now I'll do my darndest not to let the speaker go unnoted.

Just yesterday I decided that I am giving myself a gift in order to draw a healhty line.

In order to know where I need to draw my lines to stay balanced and in line with my goals, I am gifting myself one week of only doing my new job and none other. How else will I know what I can give my retail job and not resent the giving? What do I need to give my new employer without short-changing them? I can't. So, one week of nothing but my new job, my evenings pretty much free, and no weekend work (starting tomorrow) it is!

One less paycheck, but one happier, healthier, slightly less crazed me.

Good line so far!


Tonjia said...

sometimes employers are just heartless pigs and sometimes there is another side to the story.

Has this mom had tons of absences from work in the past? I run into people all of the time who need a "doctors note" to go back to work because they call in sick/take time off all of the time and now their bosses are reduced to asking for a note to prove that they really saw a doctor!!

just a thought.

As for your situation, I think its a great idea to focus on your new job and give yourself some time to take a breath now and then without working 2 jobs! congrats!

Shar said...

breathing is essential to life. kudos :)

Irisi said...

Glad to see the Red one at work in your life! Boundaries rock..


~ C

Lea said...

My dearest, C... You are SO RIGHT!

It's good to pull back from edge-walking to find balance.

Much Love,
~ L

AirmanMom said...

MEPS and Lackland are the water and air of new AF Moms! Thank you for this refreshing post...keeping it all real!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...