If you're counting the ways you'd've run out of fingers and toes a long time ago!
It's not that I'm an insatiable information hound about everything (though I am)... It's that every waking moment of every day I wonder how Avivah is doing. I wonder what she's doing, how she feels about it and how she's doing at it. I wonder what she thinks of the food and if she is able to eat well in the whopping 5 minutes they have to wolf down sustenance. I wonder if in the short and frantic shower time they have she is able to get all that hair clean! I wonder if she has made a friend there in whom she can confide. I wonder if she is healthy. If her run time is improving. If the hair gel she took is good enough to do the job of holding every strand of that gorgeous hair in place. I wonder if she'll call again some day in the next 5 weeks and if she will sound more like the determined, headstrong child I know and love...........
I wonder as I wander... at work, while driving, sitting here at the computer, in the grocery store, while making dinner, everywhere.
Just now, standing outside in the freezing cold watching the lunar eclipse, I wondered if she saw it too and if she thought of me, or home at all. We have always watched the moon together, she and I. When V was very little I taught her a poem (J too) we'd say every night we saw the moon...
Hail fair moon
Ruler of the night
Guard me and mine
'til it be light.
and we have a family tradition of singing moon songs like this one I've passed along from my childhood...
I see the moon and the moon sees me
Down through the leaves of the old oak tree.
Hope that moon that shines on me
Shines on the one I love.
So tonight I wonder; and I pray that the V I love so dearly is sleeping a well-earned sleep in the glow of the moonlight.